Try Hard Not to Offend — Try Even Harder Not to Be Offended
A principle we should all live by
There are over 8 billion people in the world, making up thousands of cultures and just under 200 recognized nation-states. And these people all have different personalities, backgrounds, and lived experiences.
There are going to be misunderstandings and conflicts.
Even though some of us may live in more populous or diverse areas than others, every single person will interact with people different from themselves. And because of that…
You will experience disagreement, emotional triggers, conflicts, misunderstandings, and causes for offense virtually every day.
Count on it.
Some of these encounters are more serious than others, and some will require an appropriate response, but…
Do you try to be a voice and presence for positivity and graciousness?
Or… not?
Rep. Dan Crenshaw (R-TX) popularized a saying that has become one of my all-time favorite quotes:
Try hard not to offend; try even harder not to be offended.
Invariably, given our sadly polarized age, someone reading this will object to the source of the quote. It’s emblematic of the shallow and pathetic society we’ve become — one full of emotionally fragile people.
Just because you disagree with a lot of someone’s political, religious, or social views does NOT mean that person can’t teach you something.
Setting aside the double negative, let me put it another way…
Just about anyone can teach you something.
So, whatever your views may be of Congressman Crenshaw, the preceding quote of his (not original to him, but popularized by him) is worth our consideration.
Let’s break it down…
“Try hard not to offend”
Abiding by this ethic requires that you embrace humility and choose kindness. It depends on you seeing other people as having intrinsic value — and treating them accordingly.
A person who tries hard not to offend is a person who is kind, caring, patient, and sensitive.
And (though it should go without saying) such a person has renounced any form of prejudice, bigotry, or hate.
It’s the selfish, the bitter, the bigoted, the hateful, and the emotionally weak who spread negativity and poison among us. Don’t be one of them.
“Try even harder not to be offended”
During the First World War (then called “the Great War”), a private was angry that a fellow soldier lit a match. “Put out that (expletive deleted) match!” the man shouted. And then, to his shock and chagrin, he realized that he’d just yelled at General John J. Pershing, commander of the American Expeditionary Force (AEF).
Pershing patted the mortified private on the back, saying, “That’s okay, son. Just be glad I’m not a second lieutenant.”
No offense to second lieutenants, but Pershing’s point was that younger officers often felt they had to defend their ego and prove their value. By contrast, the 57-year-old, seasoned, and mature Pershing had nothing to prove. He knew his worth.
This is what Gandhi was getting at when he famously said:
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.”
So, which are you?
Strong or weak?
Which do you want to be?
If everyone lived by the mantra “Try hard not to offend; try even harder not to be offended,” this world would be a better place. It certainly would be a more just and peaceful place.
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